Closure

With the release if the cause of death in the Kelley Snyder case, everyone is talking about closure.  Is it really?  I have seen several people sharing the article on social medias sites.  I have seen prayers being offered to the family and the community.  A book is being written in Kelley's honor by a local author.  All of these things seem good to me.  People want to heal, but they want to remember.

Unfortunately with these things comes hate.  So much hate is in the world today and I am seeing it swim to the surface today.  As I was reading some of the posts today, I saw some people saying they want BJ to rot in jail.  They think he is a monster who doesn't deserve to live.  They think no punishment is too severe for him.  By far the worst post I saw slammed the parents of BJ for raising him.   I believe the quote was, and to the Snyders, you raised him.  Then yet another person stated they wanted one child to go to her aunt, one child to go to his father, and the other to go to his father.

After all the horrible events since Easter day, I am having a very hard time with the hate that has come out of this.  Most of the people I talk to are very sympathetic to the family and the children.  Most people have been very supportive to them and just want the best for them.  But the ones who seem to have the most hate are the ones who are posting nasty things to BJ's parents and who think it is actually a good idea to separate children who have already lost EVERYTHING.

These children lost their mother and will never get her back.  They have also lost their father/step-father to the same violence.  He is in jail.  To them, he is lost too.  Their feelings are different for BJ than their mother, but they lost both their parents in one night.  If their parents both died in a car crash, would people be so quick to advise they be separated?  Or would they say, these children deserve to be together as much as possible.  Would they be accusing BJ's parents of raising a bad person if he was the person driving in bad snow and wrecked and died.  The cause of death does not matter in the long run.  The fact that their parents are gone and their lives are irrevocably changed is what matters.

I have seen such anguish on the faces of the people most affected by the loss of Kelley.  Their heartbreak is evident on their faces.  Kelley touched so many people in such a positive manner.  It is a shame to see such negativity being brought out.  No hate.  Anger is ok, but please try to remember that her children hear everything that is said.  They know that you are talking about them.  The know you are talking about their mother.  They know that you are talking about their father/step-father.  They know that you are talking about their grandparents.  They have had so much hurt and loss in the past month.  They do not need more.  They do not need more pain at the hands of the people who profess to be so hurt by the loss of Kelley.

Please stop and think about what is being said and posted on social media sites.  Enough will be said in the media that we can't control.  Let's all have some sympathy for these broken babies of Kelley's.  Let's show them the kind of love and understanding that we all know she would show to someone else's babies if they were hurt.  Let's try to remember that the Snyder family is doing the best they know how in a very difficult situation.  We do not have to agree with them.  We do need to be loving.  We do need to be graceful.  And we do need to be forgiving.

Closure?  Can we expect this to ever happen with this tragic situation?  Probably not completely.  Can we have a measure of healing?  Yes.  If we can remember to have a few simple things in our hearts.  Compassion, understanding, forgiveness, and prayer.  These things will be the only things that will heal us all.